Results tagged “unemployment” from BrainDrain

In the "what's God up to?" file, my start date with IBM has been delayed by a week. I talked with my new employers, CDI IT Staffing, today to find out what was happening with my new gig at IBM and it turns out that I will be starting on the 12th rather than the 5th. IBM's cutting back on hours for employees and their current plan is to tell all the contractors that they need to take 6 unpaid days off between now and the end of the year. So, rather than have me start on the 5th and then have to take 6 days spread out throughout the year (which would be fine with me, actually), they just decided to have me start 5 days later and get it all out of the way up front.

Going on this scenario, it sounds like I would get an extra day that some others won't get (only having to delay five days instead of six), but Five Dollar Friend has asked me to play a show with them in Houston on the 16th. Thus, on my first day of work, I will be asking for that Friday off. CDI thinks that they shouldn't have any problem with that (seeing as I'll have just started and also have - technically - one more day that IBM wants me to take off), but you never know and I hate to tell FDF that I'm in and then have to shank them the week of saying I can't get off work in time to get over to Houston for the gig.

When it rains, it pours, I guess. But it's good to know that I'll be back working soon - I hope. That would kind of suck if a succession of delays ends up just being a non-starter. It seems I'll have to file yet one more unemployment request before I get regular employment. Then again, what fun would a rollercoaster be without ups, downs, AND corkscrews, eh?

Now that the prospect of my returning to work has reared its ugly head, I think it is past time to reflect on the last seven months because this was the sabbatical that I had desired for quite some time. I have now been on both sides of the fence, to see if the grass really is greener on that other side and I have found what most anyone with any life experience already knows - the grass is the same shade of brown no matter which side of the fence you're on.

If you happen to be on unemployment here in Texas, let me offer you a little word of advice: even if you get some part-time work (consulting, mowing lawns, walking old ladies, whatever), continue to make your unemployment payment requests on schedule. Otherwise, you'll have to file a whole new claim to get things setup again and you'll end up with another two week waiting period before you can make a request for mo' money.

I failed to make three payment requests while I was doing the shorty consulting gig and was away at Galveston, so when I tried to make a request just yesterday, I found out that my benefits had been suspended and I had to call the TWC Tele-center to have things reinstated. Four billion calls later, I finally got through to find out that even if I'm doing things to have money coming in, as long as they're not full time (which means greater than 30 hours per week) I still need to request my benefits (making sure to document what work I actually did so that they can deduct what I made from the benefits accordingly). Once I get full-time employment then the claim ends. You apparently can't just request it when you need it, you have to request it on schedule or things get dicey. So, in yet another dose of state-sponsored irony, a person gets penalized for being self-sufficient and not needing to draw unemployment for a few weeks.

What a country.

The first contract is in the bag, and overall I think that it went pretty well. I was able to go from knowing nothing about the application to having it running in two days, and was then able to add the customizations and finish up the documentation in another day and a half. It was a simple project, but it required some experience that the client didn't have and it allowed me to ease myself back into the software development world in a nice, orderly fashion. You know, to be honest, this contract was kind of what I thought that my Level 3 job at IBM was supposed to be like - fixing a few bugs here and there or getting something to run properly, but also mainly customizing the application for customers to add features or make something work specifically for them. We did a little bit of that at IBM (sometimes on a very large scale for a single large customer), but for the most part it was always about getting things to just run as advertised and nothing more.

Now that the contract is done, I'm back to "livin' the dream": getting up late, going swimming when nobody else is at the pool, catching up on reading and television, and just generally enjoying the unemployed life. Ideally, I'd be either back to scouring the job boards full time or pushing my fixers at RHT to find me another contract, but since I've got the mission trip to Galveston coming up at the end of next week, I don't really want to take anything until I'm done with that. I guess that means that I'm currently "benched", to use the parlance of the industry in which I now find myself. This is a good thing, though - it will allow me to concentrate on the Life On Loan show coming up THIS FRIDAY and will also give me time to prepare for the Galveston trip and help out with that (seeing as I am the YSA Intern at GHBC, after all). I kind of hope that I can keep up this short term contract work followed by short bench breaks for a little while because I think it would really serve to keep my stress level at a manageable mark as well as keep enough money coming in for me to satisfy my financial obligations (having no debt is a nice place in which to be).

Plus, it gives me more time to practice using the Toypedo so I can display my deadly accuracy at the next pool party I attend. Gotta have priorities in life, man.

Here's a little tidbit for those of you that may eventually have to request unemployment from the state of Texas. The Texas Workforce Commission (TWC) has some odd ideas on how they go about giving out unemployment payments and it's causing me not a little bit of consternation. Instead of just sending me a check when I request it, or direct depositing into my existing bank account, they have seen fit to provide me with a Chase debit card and they just deposit the payments I request into that account.

Now not only do I have yet another card and account to manage, the main problem is that the card doesn't actually have an account or routing number associated with it, so I can't electronically transfer the funds from the TWC account into my bank account. My apartment complex still requires me to pay by check (a bit anachronistic in this day and age if you ask me, and I can't figure out why it's such a big production to get electronic payment going but I guess that's a rant for another day and time) and so I have to pay from my bank account. Since that's the biggest monthly expense that I have, my unemployment primarily goes to that - but I can't pay my rent with the TWC card. Thus, in order to use the unemployment money, I'm going to have to go to the one ATM in my area (at a Target, of all places) that doesn't charge me a fee, withdraw the daily limit, and manually deposit it into my bank account - and then repeat each day until the TWC balance is cleared out. What a gigantic pain in my backside.

They're already requiring me to work for my money - I have to do three job search activities per week (applying for jobs, creating profiles on job search sites, going to seminars, etc.) and they're making me go to some silly 3-hour orientation tomorrow, so you'd think that they'd have options on how to receive payment to make things as smooth as possible. I can't think that I'm the only one in the city that will not only use my unemployment to pay rent but also still has to pay by check.

Good going on making that nearly impossible to do easily, TWC. Thanks a bunch. 'ppreciate ya.

It's going on two and a half months now since IBM and I parted ways officially. I've surely enjoyed this time of not having a job - I have been able to realize some personal dreams (being a real rock star at SXSW), my stress level is at an all-time low, and I'm probably the most well-rested that I have been in years. I've also started working out on a regular basis and that probably wouldn't have happened if I had not had this time to get myself motivated to do it. I've also been able to spend some time studying and preparing to teach our Young Singles group on Sundays, which has also been good for me as it forces me to do some reading and praying that I might not otherwise do.

But I've also noticed some downsides to not having demands on one's time after "being my own man" for awhile. When I first got laid off, there were a ton of things that I was going to do with my newfound freedom - I was thinking about trying to write a book, I wanted to catch up on scads of reading (which I have done), I wanted to practice my drums religiously for 6+ hours a day, hang out at coffee shops, blog incessantly, etc., etc., etc. And, as I look back on my time so far, I find that I've really done none of that with the exception of preparing for the SXSW show and the reading that I mentioned. More often than not, I sleep ridiculously late, spend too much time in front of the television, and also just waste a lot of time online IMing or surfing (either at home or at a cofee shop). I get to the end of the day and wonder where the day went and wonder why I keep wasting time and not doing what I said I wanted to do.

Those of you that watched President Obama's press conference tonight may have heard him mention that he was in Elkhart earlier today. That's right, the Prez stopped by my hometown to blow some economic sunshine up the skirts of the people that live in the area of the country with the highest unemployment rate (> 15%).

Brad (my dad's roommate) went to the address and even got on the local news in a crowd scan shot. Hooray for 15 seconds of fame!

What a dubious distinction. But now nobody there can say that Obama doesn't know where they live! I hope that he was able to bring at least a little emotional hope to them if not some real economic hope for the future.

The human mind and its associated proclivities never cease to amaze me, and for the first time in my professional life I'm confronted with a whole new process of emotions and thoughts. I have been working constantly since I was 17 years old. I put myself through college, so I never had a summer vacation after high school and I never was one of those lucky students that could just concentrate solely on classes and the whole "college experience". Every time I left a job, it was to take a new one (or to add one or more to the roster). Now, my job has come to an end and I don't have anything specific lined up and I'm not leaving one job for another in order to make a leap to the next level of my career.

To borrow from Megadeth a little bit, "there's a war inside my head" between my practical (logical) side and my emotional side, and they've been doing a good job of switching sides during this whole thing. Sometimes my emotions let the fear take over and overrule my logical calculations and observations with a gloom-and-doom cascade of "what ifs": what if I've miscalculated my funds? what if something terrible happens? what if I can't find a job - any job - right away? what if my insurance runs out? Then sometimes my emotions betray that line of thinking and take up residence on the other side of the line, telling me that it will be great to have no responsibilities for a while, that this will give me time to clear my head, time that I desperately need, and that I can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the fruits of my labor a little bit.

Logic does the same thing to me - some days it tells me that I have plenty of cushion to ride this out, other days it tells me to expect the unexpected and realize that I'm probably overestimating things and that maybe taking some time off and not searching for a job is a bad thing. Couple that with a thousand voices from external sources, some who have been there and some who haven't, and I get stuck in an internal struggle that devolves into what Kyle Miller would call "self talk" - words and phrases like "I should..." or "I shouldn't..." that I tell myself in order to help me be who I perceive other people want me to be rather than who I really am as God sees me and created me.

And that's where I turn back to God and take some time to listen. I'm reminded of several key factors in this whole situation, both good and bad. On the one hand, I let my unhapiness and my lack of desire to do the job overtake my performance and I wasn't executing my job to the best of my ability, something that I am commanded to do (see Ecclesiastes). I did things well, but I could have done things so much better and there are people on my team that are doing them better than me. I bear some responsibility for this, whether based on my choice to aggressively maintain my "work/life balance" or on my lack of productivity. I allowed my malaise to creep into my work life, and that's no good for anybody.

On the other hand, I asked for this. I've prayed for this. I have been asking God for a long time now to show me whether my restlesness was an indication of his leading or my own, and I asked him to show me clearly. It doesn't really get much clearer than being laid off. I've been fidgeting in my soul, knowing that I've been changing, which led me to be uncomfortable doing my job at IBM. I had been contemplating (and have mentioned to others, even) taking a sabbatical from IBM to pursue music or something else, because I knew that the job I was doing was no longer right for me. I've lamented not having time to just sit and listen to God, to spend time with him without having ten thousand things vying for my attention. Now I've been given that gift. I can do whatever he calls me to do, because I've been released.

Let's be honest, here - I hated that job. Some days it was a chore to get out of bed and go into work and once I got there, it was even harder to get motivated to actually do something. Why would I lament the loss of something that was so onerous to me? Additionally, why should I immediately jump back on the corporate train to get a job just for the sake of having a job? Sure there is now a huge unknown when it comes to my personal financial security, but with security comes constraint. There is no freedom in security! Now that I am free, I can do anything! I'm pretty much free to go anywhere or do anything that God calls me to do. I cannot explain that feeling of liberation...it's just something that must be experienced.

I've heard the sermons that state that "there's no notion of retirement in the Bible!" (which, roughly translated, is about not just sitting back and coasting in a life of leisure without working hard "all the days of your life"), and I know that the majority of Americans have a work ethic which won't allow for any time to just not do anything - an extended vacation, if you will, with no known end date - and I'll admit that I struggle with that thought. I'm taking a huge risk here, trusting that the fruits of my labor up to this point will be enough to sustain me and that I will be able to come through this with not only flying colors, but also a newfound purpose and vocation. But I don't know what I'm being called to do yet, and I think it would be a tremendous disservice to God and his plan (and his answer to my request!) if I went out and immediately got a job (assuming that is possible) just for the sake of having a job and the security that it implies. This doesn't mean that I won't be looking for that job, but it does mean that I've desired time to think about what it is that I am being called to do next, and now that I have that time I'm not going to squander it just for the sake of keeping control of my life and having security.

There is no better time in my life for this to happen: by the time my tenure at IBM is over, I will have no more car payments, no more debt, no family to support, a Dave Ramsey-approved savings buffer (3-6 months of expenses, even before severance cash), and I'm still pretty young. I have a good network of people in the software game and without that have offered help already (and thank you very much to all those of you that have done so - you're the best!), and I have an opportunity to get some retraining education if I so desire from IBM. I am not defined by my job, and I don't feel that my layoff was a reflection on me or my lack of ability - just perhaps an indicator of how we grew apart in our goals and aspirations as Tivoli became IBM. Not to mention that as of March 6th or so, I can probably claim to be a professional musician since that will have been the most recent thing that will have paid me money.

Will I still go back and forth? Probably. I'll probably have constant concern or niggling doubt about the future and what it holds, and I'll probably always have that secret fear in the way back part of my mind about those unforseen things that come in and make the bottom fall out. But I know that my God loves me, and that he has given me this gift - not just the break, but also the opportunity to really trust him and go into that place where I have no control over what happens to me - and he will not let me down. He has a plan for me, and now my "job" is to be ready and willing to go wherever that plan takes me, and until then to "have life and have it to the full", because this is what God desires for me.

As Justin likes to quote from The Matrix when we talk about these things, I say that "...if what Morpheus says is true, well...these are exciting times!" I couldn't agree more.