More "Light" Reading

I must admit that I approached Walking With God by John Eldredge with a fair amount of skepticism when it was loaned to me for a read-through. I'm not sure why I treat Eldredge's works this way...perhaps it has something to do with his writings becoming textbooks-of-the-season for churchgoers looking for more of the latest popular buzz in Christianity. This is a very cynical point of view, seeing as I've not bothered to actually read any of his other books. But, I mentioned that I've been having trouble hearing from God, and so someone thought that I would benefit from reading it.

I had the idea that this would be yet another lofty "how to" book on hearing God's voice, something that wouldn't connect with me because the author couldn't really speak my language. I've read a lot of books that leave me feeling like there's a lot more work to be done in my spiritual life but they haven't really told me how to do it. I come away from them feeling like I'm somehow a dolt for not knowing how to accomplish things like life-changing prayer, hearing God's voice, loving God, etc., etc., etc. Clearly the author knows how to do it, or else they wouldn't have written a book about it...trouble is, they didn't really bother sharing it with me and I feel like I'm just supposed to know. After nearly thirty-five years in church, I'm finally coming to the realization that I'm a broken Christian and that I don't know how to do something as seemingly simple as loving God as my First Thing. Everyone else seems to know, and I know I'm supposed to know, but I don't and I feel like nobody will tell me how to learn.

And then I cracked open Walking With God. Just like Messy Spirituality before it, this book is wreaking havoc on my mind and heart. I'm not really ready for it, I think. I quickly moved from resignation to interest as I got through the first chapters of the book and when the light finally came on, in that "a-ha!" moment, I felt that finally - FINALLY - someone knew how to speak to me and build on the foundation begun by the Yaconelli book. But the more I kept reading, the more and more I became a little disheartened by how much work needs to be done. Eldredge talks to God about everything, all the time, and the more he talked about how he would pray about the slightest thing and get an answer that he understood, the more restless I became because my spirituality is so noisy that it seems like there's no way that I could possibly hear from God that often. He talks about binding spirits and sensing them robbing your joy, about how Satan is an opportunist and how even helping someone else can open the door for those spirits to transfer their attacks onto you as a result. To be honest, it kind of freaked me out and seemed awfully weird. I don't know if I'm ready for that.

However, the more I think about it, the more I think that this is a book that is packed with insight and helpful information because I badly want the spiritual life that Eldredge writes about. And he doesn't write about it from the "I've already got this down and working" perspective - this book is taken from a lot of his journal entries and the process of the struggle shows up in the string of entries. Granted, it is time-compressed in book form (much like an episode of CSI) so you can't really tell how long it took him to get from the realization to the implementation of a particular idea, but it does show how the process basically works. I think I'm just a little bit scared of the hard work and inevitable failure that will result for the first amount of times that I try this.

I'm thinking that I'm going to have to read this book in process much like he wrote it in process - I'm going to have to work on the first bit, the fundamental bit, and then come back to the book and reread it some more and then work on the next chunk. The same has been true of Messy Spirituality now that some of the revelations have sunk in a bit and the shock of "oh YEAH!" has subsided. There is so much here, so much that I have never seen before, that I can't expect it to just be absorbed into my heart and soul immediately and just start working. Way back when in the Young Singles group we talked about mentors and a comment was made that sometimes a mentor isn't necessarily a person that you meet with once a week for coffee...it could be a book or series of books written by a particular person that gives insight into the thought processes behind them and also instructs in a pattern for living. I may never meet John Eldredge but I would consider him a mentor because, through his writing, he is teaching me something that I didn't know how to do in the Christian life in a way in which I can understand and relate.

I'm sure I'll have more on this once I'm done with the first read-through and once the absorption commences and the shock and awe goes away, but for now I think that if you're having trouble hearing God's voice and truly learning to follow him, maybe you might want to give this book a read. It may not work for you. Hey, for all I know, it may not work for me either; it just seems like it's connecting with me on some level, so I'm optimistic (even through the trepidation, uncomfortableness, and weirdness). And don't be fooled - I don't consider this light reading. If my reaction to it is any indication of the Everyman reaction to it, this could very well give you some serious things to think through and may even dislodge some things about yourself that you're not quite ready to deal with as you read about Eldredge going through some tough situations and coming to these realizations. Like I said, I badly want the life that he's talking about here, and so that has to count for something - there must be something in this book if this is truly what his life has become. It is a fairly short read, though, so you could probably power through it if you're crunched for time. I'd recommend it for a read...it could help and it certainly couldn't hurt.